I recently finished What Are Children For?: On Ambivalence and Choice by Anastasia Berg & Rachel Wiseman. The book has a full section on what the authors deem "motherhood ambivalence literature." This was the first time I've seen a comprehensive deep dive into the trend and I found it really really illuminating. In particular, they highlight the way these books nearly always have a main character (the mother) who spends most of the novel ruminating. Thinking, solo, is the plot. The secondary characters are rarely fully realized. Before reading this take, I had never even noticed this! I was just delighted to read so many pages committed to the grown woman's mind. I'm not a mother (would love to be someday soon!) but I know much of early motherhood is isolating and full of days spent trapped in your mind while caring for someone who can't speak. But when this translates to the page, it can create a fairly limited scope for a book and a pretty narrow worldview. Before reading their take, I had never even considered the ways that obsessing about our thoughts can heighten loneliness rather than help add color to it. TLDR: I haven't read any of the 3 books discussed but recently had my own moment where I realized reading so many books about this same topic might be limiting not only my literary experience but also my understanding of family, parenthood, marriage, etc. I LOVE these books. I read a bizarre number of them for someone who isn't a parent. But I also think the mixed reactions to Liars are an appropriate corrective.
This sounds *fascinating*. Thank you for sharing that, I'm going to seek that book out. Have you read Motherhood by Sheila Heti? That's also great on ambivalence around parenting.
I recently read Same As It Ever Was, and left feeling fairly bummed. I think I felt bogged down by Julia's constant negativity. Her cynicism didn't feel clever or insightful or secretly fun to wallow in like other dark-spirited characters I've come across. I just felt bummed out. I felt similarly when I read Sandwich recently. However, I am a bright-eyed/bushy-tailed/on the cusp of getting married and turning thirty kind of reader, so I'm wondering if I'm just not quite in the era of life to really enjoy these stories. However, I adored All Fours! The genre is definitely having a moment right now.
Ahhh I've heard a lot about Sandwich - deliberately halting on reading it for a bit. That's an interesting POV re: Julia, too. I think I felt sorry for her as she was so deeply traumatised and out of her depth. And I liked how honest she was about her ambivalence. I think so many people despise themselves for wanting certain things; and feel wretched when they can't do things - like parenting - that they perceive other people to do with ease. That said, I do agree that she's definitely cynical, and parts of the book are pretty heavy to read.
Liars is one of the most claustrophobic books I've read in a very long time. All the situations cling to you, one by one. It's going to be hard to forget about.
I’ve found the pressure of motherhood, maintaining a house and full-time work too much for these sorts of books recently. I’ve switched to fantasy and historic fiction. Huge relief for my brain
If only it were a publishing trend! I wrote a book about this very topic and could not get it published!!! A year of submitting and no joy. Partly, I was told, because the trope of the heteronormative white middle class mother is considered ‘not the thing’ in current publishing trends. Fascinated to read your reviews though and I enjoyed your recommendation ‘Divorce’, which explored similar tropes. Xx
Adding to my goodreads list!
Popping in to point you in the direction of “Rapture” by Emily Maguire if historical fiction is next on your list x
Love these reviews. So thoughtful and true. Thank you
I recently finished What Are Children For?: On Ambivalence and Choice by Anastasia Berg & Rachel Wiseman. The book has a full section on what the authors deem "motherhood ambivalence literature." This was the first time I've seen a comprehensive deep dive into the trend and I found it really really illuminating. In particular, they highlight the way these books nearly always have a main character (the mother) who spends most of the novel ruminating. Thinking, solo, is the plot. The secondary characters are rarely fully realized. Before reading this take, I had never even noticed this! I was just delighted to read so many pages committed to the grown woman's mind. I'm not a mother (would love to be someday soon!) but I know much of early motherhood is isolating and full of days spent trapped in your mind while caring for someone who can't speak. But when this translates to the page, it can create a fairly limited scope for a book and a pretty narrow worldview. Before reading their take, I had never even considered the ways that obsessing about our thoughts can heighten loneliness rather than help add color to it. TLDR: I haven't read any of the 3 books discussed but recently had my own moment where I realized reading so many books about this same topic might be limiting not only my literary experience but also my understanding of family, parenthood, marriage, etc. I LOVE these books. I read a bizarre number of them for someone who isn't a parent. But I also think the mixed reactions to Liars are an appropriate corrective.
This sounds *fascinating*. Thank you for sharing that, I'm going to seek that book out. Have you read Motherhood by Sheila Heti? That's also great on ambivalence around parenting.
I recently read Same As It Ever Was, and left feeling fairly bummed. I think I felt bogged down by Julia's constant negativity. Her cynicism didn't feel clever or insightful or secretly fun to wallow in like other dark-spirited characters I've come across. I just felt bummed out. I felt similarly when I read Sandwich recently. However, I am a bright-eyed/bushy-tailed/on the cusp of getting married and turning thirty kind of reader, so I'm wondering if I'm just not quite in the era of life to really enjoy these stories. However, I adored All Fours! The genre is definitely having a moment right now.
Ahhh I've heard a lot about Sandwich - deliberately halting on reading it for a bit. That's an interesting POV re: Julia, too. I think I felt sorry for her as she was so deeply traumatised and out of her depth. And I liked how honest she was about her ambivalence. I think so many people despise themselves for wanting certain things; and feel wretched when they can't do things - like parenting - that they perceive other people to do with ease. That said, I do agree that she's definitely cynical, and parts of the book are pretty heavy to read.
Liars is one of the most claustrophobic books I've read in a very long time. All the situations cling to you, one by one. It's going to be hard to forget about.
That's a vg way of putting it
I’ve been trying to think of a word to describe Liars & claustrophobic is it! Thank you
I’ve found the pressure of motherhood, maintaining a house and full-time work too much for these sorts of books recently. I’ve switched to fantasy and historic fiction. Huge relief for my brain
Can be both a salve and a boon, I think, to read within one's comfort zone. Enjoy the smutty Austen
My next genre is going to be smutty re-writings of Jane Austen. Really check out
If only it were a publishing trend! I wrote a book about this very topic and could not get it published!!! A year of submitting and no joy. Partly, I was told, because the trope of the heteronormative white middle class mother is considered ‘not the thing’ in current publishing trends. Fascinated to read your reviews though and I enjoyed your recommendation ‘Divorce’, which explored similar tropes. Xx