Following up on a point brought up in the British Vogue article I want to know how many people behind the scenes are working to help these women create content. Most influencers with a wide following that are posting daily or multiple times a week have assistants or social media teams. I would imagine they do also and probably have assistance in the form of a house keeper or nanny as well with balancing kids, home schooling, house work, cooking etc. So I say the deception and contradiction is probably much deeper than just the Aga
Just when I thought I too was done with this topic am in DEEP again thanks (or no thanks) to this post. Great questions, really interesting answers. So true that the algorithm rewards the extreme, and so terrifying to think children who are no doubt being brought into this world as social media plot points!! Surely God would not approve.
Long-time subscriber! Totally pumped (so American) about the changes to the paid tier. I don’t need more shopping ideas but I always need more book chat in my life. Thank you. // Loved this piece. As a full-time attorney, mom, wife (blah blah blah), and hobbyist Substacker there is just no way I have the time (want to expend the time?) to actually follow Ballerina farm and others of her ilk on Social Media. At the same time, I want to know what’s going on!! The Trad Wife New Yorker article was helpful but so was this piece — again, loved it. After making coffee but before sitting down to read this, I clicked over to the Ballerina Farm Instagram account, to, you know “get the vibes” and was shocked to see how many of my "hyper successful" (read: successful in more traditional fields) high school friends follow her-- including several of my close male friends who work on Wall Street and never have time to take their kids to the dentist? So their wives do? I mention this because I went to a boarding school on the East Coast... a sort of liberal bastion where everyone supports the left and thinks America needs more of a social safety net (despite our very traditional career paths) so having this part of my network demonstrate an interest in Ballerina farm was surprising to me (because of the chain link discussed in the article).
Loved reading this, and now I finally understand what a tradwife actually is. I never understood why this lifestyle is so politically charged because every woman should make the choice that works best for her. If that is to stay at home, great. So thank you, for explaining the "link in the chain" to the problematic political views and the role social media plays in it.
I've been off social media (it crushes my brain) for a bit and had missed this trend, so found the tradwives chat genuinely fascinating. Bloody love a juicy bit of trend analysis and have bookmarked many things to read later — thank you!
‘I guess the Aga represents the sense of deception that seems to lie at the heart of all this.’ - what a line 👏👏😂😂
I wrote about the topic of tradwives too and find these sorts of movements endlessly fascinating. I see them (and their leftie #softlife counterparts) as a reaction to the girlboss movement, and essentially to women feeling overworked and under-appreciated.
Here is an extract from my essay ‘Is Feminism Failing Us?’…
‘Juggling domestic responsibilities with career demands has left many feeling exhausted and wondering whether it is possible to really have it all. Women swung from one extreme to another: from the 1950’s housewife to the hustle-hungry workaholic, and it left many of us with one big problem: burn-out.’
If you want to read the whole piece head over to my Substack here:
I’ve got an Aga, I make jam sometimes, dammit I’m missing a trick - I could be influencing & coining it! (too lazy tho, like privacy and actually have a real job)
I really enjoyed the article! Honestly, I am quite confused why all the attention is being focused on these women and this is a “new” movement? Maybe it’s because of social media? Did everyone just miss that these women have been here, doing what they do for years and years?
I also do think most are aligned to religious right / Christianity / Mormonism. But I don’t think that because they are religious we should automatically make the jump to trendy things / accusations like white supremacy. That’s a big jump and religion, even conservative versions of religion, does not automatically equal that.
Back to my confusion - these women have been around for years. Before social media, they had magazines called like “Gentle Spirit”, which is no longer published. They meet each other through home schooling groups etc, get together for crafts and play dates. A lot of the churches and Christian leadership and Christian speakers support the Proverbs 31 woman / submissive / stay at home wives. Most of this is propagated by women to women.
Isn’t feminism the ability to give women the choice? Not every woman wants the same thing. But I do think a lot of these women (not to be mean) are not the top brains of women. These are often women who would be in low level work, or just don’t have what it takes to be successful in a career for whatever reason. So being a submissive, trad wife is actually their preferred choice. I know some women are making this choice on their own and not at the request of a husband. Of course this is a generalization and is not everyone, but it is something I’ve observed with the ones I know personally and sometimes see on social media.
I do want to say that these women’s social media often sit wrong with me too. It’s some (sorry but… it’s a) dumbass telling me she knows the way of life and judging women with jobs, and telling me her children are going to be doing better than mine because she watches them, like play in the creek. I had to unfollow accounts like that because it was difficult to let it go. I think Ballerina Farm is very successful because she doesn’t do the judgment in her account and the preaching about the lifestyle and how it’s superior. She simply shows people “the life.”
(Full disclosure - raised by a trad wife and in that culture before it was called trad wife).
I’m reading The Women’s Room by Marilyn French at the moment (it’s brilliant) and as a feminist I was surprised I hadn’t heard of it before! It came out in ‘78 and is about the lives of women (housewives mainly) in the sixties. It’s interesting that the tradwives trend seems to be based on the idea that the work of housewives was respected in 50s - I really don’t think it was. It was seen as a woman’s duty. The rose tinted glasses feel like they’re firmly on.
Following up on a point brought up in the British Vogue article I want to know how many people behind the scenes are working to help these women create content. Most influencers with a wide following that are posting daily or multiple times a week have assistants or social media teams. I would imagine they do also and probably have assistance in the form of a house keeper or nanny as well with balancing kids, home schooling, house work, cooking etc. So I say the deception and contradiction is probably much deeper than just the Aga
Another great shopping newsletter is Really Good Vintage: https://reallygoodvintage.substack.com/
Loved this (and thank you for the shout-out) - I am about halfway through RIPLEY and absolutely RAPT.
Just when I thought I too was done with this topic am in DEEP again thanks (or no thanks) to this post. Great questions, really interesting answers. So true that the algorithm rewards the extreme, and so terrifying to think children who are no doubt being brought into this world as social media plot points!! Surely God would not approve.
Long-time subscriber! Totally pumped (so American) about the changes to the paid tier. I don’t need more shopping ideas but I always need more book chat in my life. Thank you. // Loved this piece. As a full-time attorney, mom, wife (blah blah blah), and hobbyist Substacker there is just no way I have the time (want to expend the time?) to actually follow Ballerina farm and others of her ilk on Social Media. At the same time, I want to know what’s going on!! The Trad Wife New Yorker article was helpful but so was this piece — again, loved it. After making coffee but before sitting down to read this, I clicked over to the Ballerina Farm Instagram account, to, you know “get the vibes” and was shocked to see how many of my "hyper successful" (read: successful in more traditional fields) high school friends follow her-- including several of my close male friends who work on Wall Street and never have time to take their kids to the dentist? So their wives do? I mention this because I went to a boarding school on the East Coast... a sort of liberal bastion where everyone supports the left and thinks America needs more of a social safety net (despite our very traditional career paths) so having this part of my network demonstrate an interest in Ballerina farm was surprising to me (because of the chain link discussed in the article).
Loved reading this, and now I finally understand what a tradwife actually is. I never understood why this lifestyle is so politically charged because every woman should make the choice that works best for her. If that is to stay at home, great. So thank you, for explaining the "link in the chain" to the problematic political views and the role social media plays in it.
I've been off social media (it crushes my brain) for a bit and had missed this trend, so found the tradwives chat genuinely fascinating. Bloody love a juicy bit of trend analysis and have bookmarked many things to read later — thank you!
‘I guess the Aga represents the sense of deception that seems to lie at the heart of all this.’ - what a line 👏👏😂😂
I wrote about the topic of tradwives too and find these sorts of movements endlessly fascinating. I see them (and their leftie #softlife counterparts) as a reaction to the girlboss movement, and essentially to women feeling overworked and under-appreciated.
Here is an extract from my essay ‘Is Feminism Failing Us?’…
‘Juggling domestic responsibilities with career demands has left many feeling exhausted and wondering whether it is possible to really have it all. Women swung from one extreme to another: from the 1950’s housewife to the hustle-hungry workaholic, and it left many of us with one big problem: burn-out.’
If you want to read the whole piece head over to my Substack here:
https://open.substack.com/pub/hannahfranwrites/p/is-feminism-failing-us?r=1l8eam&utm_medium=ios
💘💘
Oh I loved The List!! Sad it’s being retired 😭
I’ve got an Aga, I make jam sometimes, dammit I’m missing a trick - I could be influencing & coining it! (too lazy tho, like privacy and actually have a real job)
I really enjoyed the article! Honestly, I am quite confused why all the attention is being focused on these women and this is a “new” movement? Maybe it’s because of social media? Did everyone just miss that these women have been here, doing what they do for years and years?
I also do think most are aligned to religious right / Christianity / Mormonism. But I don’t think that because they are religious we should automatically make the jump to trendy things / accusations like white supremacy. That’s a big jump and religion, even conservative versions of religion, does not automatically equal that.
Back to my confusion - these women have been around for years. Before social media, they had magazines called like “Gentle Spirit”, which is no longer published. They meet each other through home schooling groups etc, get together for crafts and play dates. A lot of the churches and Christian leadership and Christian speakers support the Proverbs 31 woman / submissive / stay at home wives. Most of this is propagated by women to women.
Isn’t feminism the ability to give women the choice? Not every woman wants the same thing. But I do think a lot of these women (not to be mean) are not the top brains of women. These are often women who would be in low level work, or just don’t have what it takes to be successful in a career for whatever reason. So being a submissive, trad wife is actually their preferred choice. I know some women are making this choice on their own and not at the request of a husband. Of course this is a generalization and is not everyone, but it is something I’ve observed with the ones I know personally and sometimes see on social media.
I do want to say that these women’s social media often sit wrong with me too. It’s some (sorry but… it’s a) dumbass telling me she knows the way of life and judging women with jobs, and telling me her children are going to be doing better than mine because she watches them, like play in the creek. I had to unfollow accounts like that because it was difficult to let it go. I think Ballerina Farm is very successful because she doesn’t do the judgment in her account and the preaching about the lifestyle and how it’s superior. She simply shows people “the life.”
(Full disclosure - raised by a trad wife and in that culture before it was called trad wife).
I’m reading The Women’s Room by Marilyn French at the moment (it’s brilliant) and as a feminist I was surprised I hadn’t heard of it before! It came out in ‘78 and is about the lives of women (housewives mainly) in the sixties. It’s interesting that the tradwives trend seems to be based on the idea that the work of housewives was respected in 50s - I really don’t think it was. It was seen as a woman’s duty. The rose tinted glasses feel like they’re firmly on.
Monica’s article is so funny! Also great read thank you