I really resonate with this piece but also from the opposite standing. I’m someone who comes from a big family, a larger community of chosen family and friends but I’m also a reader and writer. I’m also more extroverted than introverted. Often I find my friends who are writers or even on here read over a 100 books a year and I read one every month on average but I find them saying if they had the network of people around me like they had they wouldn’t read as much! Really resonates with what Ochuko was saying about happiness. Sometimes I’ll get asked how I always have an observation to talk about when I’m not reading as much as them and to their awe I remind them that both words on trees and people making for interesting stories as there’s rarely one without the other. Loved this piece ❤️
I feel you on this. like I said, at different points in my life I read more o less depending on what else I had to amuse myself. the competitiveness over reading goals with bookish people is so funny to me. literally not that deep!
Yes to this!! I don’t get when people think it’s a boast to share what you’ve read. It is merely factual: I like to read… a little too much. I also LOVE what you say about people nourishing you like books. I said something similar in a piece I wrote about how I read a lot, a few years ago. If you don’t read much, don’t feel bad about it, was the gist: you’ve found other ways to nourish yourself, screw the books! Final point (!) a reader is a reader if they read 3 books a year or 100.
the dream partnership! really well put piece - I’ve definitely used books as a form of avoidance, kidding myself that it’s fine bc ‘reading is good for you’. looking forward to the feb book chat!
A fascinating stance to read for someone like me who has made the opposite (somewhat unoriginal) resolution, for maybe the 3rd January running. Perhaps in my late 30s and naturally going out less, now is the time for the literary voracity to pick up. I want to enter my bookish era for the first time since my University days studying English and American literature. But the commentary about (and I paraphrase) giving yourself time and space to respond to stimuli, resonated with me. I guess, like with all things, achieving a sense of balance is key.
balance is so key! there's many other aspects of my life I keep trying to "pick up again" year after year so you're not alone. literally just starting with one book a month can be fun though. I think the key is fun > pressure
My thing is, I devour books on holiday the second I touch the tarmac in Heathrow, I fall off the wagon. Then I mourn the reading habits of my off-duty self. So I think that’s the balance I need to strike, not only with my reading but in the wider sense between city-slicking business babe and soft life island girl!
Your essay resonated so strongly with me! I am looking forward to reading more from you. In the meantime I am going to be an unspeakable pedant about something in the intro and will completely understand if both of you want to block me as a result. It is not grammatically correct to write ‘between [NAME] and I’. It ought to be ‘between [NAME] and me’. We wouldn’t write ‘for I’, or ‘with I’, and ‘between’ works in exactly the same way. The fact that there’s another person’s name in the middle alters nothing, grammatically speaking. (Sorry, sorry, sorry! It’s my job!)
I need an editor!! They are expensive (as they should be) and don't work with the timeframe I publish - which is usually very late and up to the wire. But I totally need one and you are right to be a pedant!
I've reached a similar conclusion about myself lately, and this helped expand how I understand my own reasoning for choosing the safety of books over active participation in whatever else is available in life,so thank you for writing this and for the help 🤗!
A beautiful essay, thank you for sharing. As an only child, books were my constant companion against loneliness and I can see in adulthood how I still use them, at times, as my armor from engaging.
This resonates so much, and our lives couldn’t be more different. Thank you for so eloquently sharing these thoughts, concerns. You’ve given voice to my own!
I loved this essay. Ochuku your boyfriend is beautiful! I hope you are enjoying Covenant of Water. I did. At 75 yrs old, I can tell you your book reading totals will continue to reflect your life. During Covid I couldn’t read, or couldn’t find the right book. As a major library user, I was really handicapped. But then Beaverton Library developed a beautiful holds program. Yes, I’m from Portland. Hope you return soon. Can’t wait for you Book Club.
Thanks for having me Pandora! Can't wait to kick off our series 🎉
Gorgeous✨I remember the poet Solmaz Sharif saying if you want to write richer poems, you have to live a richer life, and I think about this a lot xo
love that
I know. *Adds ‘live richer life’ to to-do list* xo
I really resonate with this piece but also from the opposite standing. I’m someone who comes from a big family, a larger community of chosen family and friends but I’m also a reader and writer. I’m also more extroverted than introverted. Often I find my friends who are writers or even on here read over a 100 books a year and I read one every month on average but I find them saying if they had the network of people around me like they had they wouldn’t read as much! Really resonates with what Ochuko was saying about happiness. Sometimes I’ll get asked how I always have an observation to talk about when I’m not reading as much as them and to their awe I remind them that both words on trees and people making for interesting stories as there’s rarely one without the other. Loved this piece ❤️
I feel you on this. like I said, at different points in my life I read more o less depending on what else I had to amuse myself. the competitiveness over reading goals with bookish people is so funny to me. literally not that deep!
Never that deep! So happy for you that you’ve found more of a sweet spot when it comes to reading for yourself and joy ❤️
Yes to this!! I don’t get when people think it’s a boast to share what you’ve read. It is merely factual: I like to read… a little too much. I also LOVE what you say about people nourishing you like books. I said something similar in a piece I wrote about how I read a lot, a few years ago. If you don’t read much, don’t feel bad about it, was the gist: you’ve found other ways to nourish yourself, screw the books! Final point (!) a reader is a reader if they read 3 books a year or 100.
the dream partnership! really well put piece - I’ve definitely used books as a form of avoidance, kidding myself that it’s fine bc ‘reading is good for you’. looking forward to the feb book chat!
me and you both!
A fascinating stance to read for someone like me who has made the opposite (somewhat unoriginal) resolution, for maybe the 3rd January running. Perhaps in my late 30s and naturally going out less, now is the time for the literary voracity to pick up. I want to enter my bookish era for the first time since my University days studying English and American literature. But the commentary about (and I paraphrase) giving yourself time and space to respond to stimuli, resonated with me. I guess, like with all things, achieving a sense of balance is key.
balance is so key! there's many other aspects of my life I keep trying to "pick up again" year after year so you're not alone. literally just starting with one book a month can be fun though. I think the key is fun > pressure
My thing is, I devour books on holiday the second I touch the tarmac in Heathrow, I fall off the wagon. Then I mourn the reading habits of my off-duty self. So I think that’s the balance I need to strike, not only with my reading but in the wider sense between city-slicking business babe and soft life island girl!
Your essay resonated so strongly with me! I am looking forward to reading more from you. In the meantime I am going to be an unspeakable pedant about something in the intro and will completely understand if both of you want to block me as a result. It is not grammatically correct to write ‘between [NAME] and I’. It ought to be ‘between [NAME] and me’. We wouldn’t write ‘for I’, or ‘with I’, and ‘between’ works in exactly the same way. The fact that there’s another person’s name in the middle alters nothing, grammatically speaking. (Sorry, sorry, sorry! It’s my job!)
I need an editor!! They are expensive (as they should be) and don't work with the timeframe I publish - which is usually very late and up to the wire. But I totally need one and you are right to be a pedant!
Thank you for reacting so graciously! Editors do important work. (Btw, did you know the ineffably lovely Benjamin Dreyer is now on Substack too?)
This is such a beautiful read thank you Ochuko and Pandora ❤️
What a great article and resonated deeply. Well done x
Stunning and relatable. I loved this ❤️
What a gorgeous read @ochuko ❤️
thank you Emma ❤️
I've reached a similar conclusion about myself lately, and this helped expand how I understand my own reasoning for choosing the safety of books over active participation in whatever else is available in life,so thank you for writing this and for the help 🤗!
This was quite liberating to read.
A beautiful essay, thank you for sharing. As an only child, books were my constant companion against loneliness and I can see in adulthood how I still use them, at times, as my armor from engaging.
This resonates so much, and our lives couldn’t be more different. Thank you for so eloquently sharing these thoughts, concerns. You’ve given voice to my own!
I loved this essay. Ochuku your boyfriend is beautiful! I hope you are enjoying Covenant of Water. I did. At 75 yrs old, I can tell you your book reading totals will continue to reflect your life. During Covid I couldn’t read, or couldn’t find the right book. As a major library user, I was really handicapped. But then Beaverton Library developed a beautiful holds program. Yes, I’m from Portland. Hope you return soon. Can’t wait for you Book Club.
This inspired me so much as a chronic reader✨