I recently read A Wreath for the Enemy by Pamela Frankau and it was a glorious blend of I Capture the Castle, Bonjour Tristesse with a splash of Evelyn Waugh. A delight the whole way through
Will you share your take on why Euro parenting seems more adaptable to adult friendship than American? I read bringing up bebe - but would loove a recent, real life perspective here!
I think the fundamental diff for me is that kids are not seen as an inconvenience in the same way and parenting is not silo-ed/regimented *quite* as much. British parenting tends to be slap bang in the middle of Spanish/Italian for EG and American - so not like 11pm bedtimes, and def types of parenting/routine/tribes but also not super divided. I think part of it comes from us generally having bigger maternity leaves. The way America is set up is that maternity leaves are frequently unpaid, and for a really short period of time, which really makes clear, from the off, that children are an inconvenience - and that they have to be left behind for you to fulfil the other parts of you.
I picked up a copy of My Brilliant Friend in a charity shop last year with a handwritten note in the front "To 'My Brilliant Friend' with unfailing thanks for being there for me during the dark and light. Love Neil" Sob! I also just got around to reading it and immediately bought the second.
Also adored reading that Nick Cave response too! Sometimes our dreams can help cushion the blow of inevitable yet painful endings. Want to print it out and stick it somewhere so I can re-read it often.
It’s not quite the same as his Red Hand Files newsletter, but I do recommend the recent release by Sean O’Hagan ‘Faith, Hope,Carnage’ which is an interview style book with Nick Cave ❣️
Would just like to say a MASSIVE thank you for the Soldier Sailor recommendation. I’ve spent the whole day buried in it. I’ve just finished it and I’m currently sat in a Pret in Nantes airport crying to myself at how beautiful it is. I’m not a mum (yet) but I’m one of 7 kids and it’s given me such an amazing appreciation for my Soldier / Mam. Thanks again for recommending!
This is a great list. I keep a long list of books I WANT to read on the notes app on my phone, but would really like to keep a physical record of what I’ve read because (a) I read (and re-read) a lot and then I forget; and (b) I think it would function like a mini journal.
Any tips from anyone who does this effectively and reliably (and also works full time and has small kids or other relentless time sucks) would be enormously appreciated
I think my first step is simply keeping the list of what I HAVE read on my Notes app. It’s ridiculous that someone with as poor a memory retention (hopefully temporary) as me does not do this
I used to write all the books I read down in a notebook (and loved looking back over them!), but somehow migrated to logging them on Goodreads. I find I don’t forget to add them as much now but it certainly doesn’t have the satisfaction of putting pen to paper in a notebook somehow!!
Thank you for sharing the Maybe Baby story! Its deffo a conundrum between friends when one has a new life(literally a baby) and the other continues as before. Nice to hear some proper thought behind the different arguments from both sides.
LOVED this! Welcome back... immediately hitting save so that I can return to this list repeatedly when I have time amidst breastfeeding/running around after toddlers/trying to write/stay sane ✨ thank you!
Loved this email! So many connects. Hiss and a roar for the start of the year. We're racing towards the end of the 3rd term in NZ. And Spring is feeling slow to properly grab hold (sort of like late February in London). So it's great to hear the new term energy. Have you read "Bunny" by Mona Awad? I really want to know what reading-ish people think. I can't quite decide. But it's playing on my mind and that is usually a good sign. (Armisted Maupin! Nick Cave's red right hand! If you need to bawl or are seeking to understand loss he is profound, and more generally profound and magically thoughtful. And I too have tried again with Elena Ferrente but it's not gel-ing.)
A new subscriber. Really enjoy it. It is possible to use share tokens for some of the content behind the paywall (this may not be allowed and apologise if that’s the case) but it would be good to be able to read some without have loads of other subscriptions.
Welcome! So glad you are enjoying. Oooh I have never heard of share tokens! Are they a Substack thing? I do comp subscriptions to people who can’t afford. But I want to be a bit careful with free paywall access because the meat of the newsletter is already free (unlike most substacks I follows) and don’t want to disrespect my paying subs... as I really rely on them to keep this show on the road x
I recently read The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo and it was so tender and beautiful I’m still thinking about it! I’ve also been reading a lot of Taylor Jenkin’s Reid this year for the first time (After I do, One True Loves and Forever Interrupted) and something is to be said about reading something easy but great storytelling while also writing. Also adored the romcom Better Than The Movies 💓
Thank you for this! Def reading Green Dot. Also how was re-reading WH? I came back to Jane Eyre recently and was 100x more into it than in high school.
Armisted Maupin!!! Devoured his books when I discovered them too - there’s no other way to read him.
I recently read A Wreath for the Enemy by Pamela Frankau and it was a glorious blend of I Capture the Castle, Bonjour Tristesse with a splash of Evelyn Waugh. A delight the whole way through
Will you share your take on why Euro parenting seems more adaptable to adult friendship than American? I read bringing up bebe - but would loove a recent, real life perspective here!
I think the fundamental diff for me is that kids are not seen as an inconvenience in the same way and parenting is not silo-ed/regimented *quite* as much. British parenting tends to be slap bang in the middle of Spanish/Italian for EG and American - so not like 11pm bedtimes, and def types of parenting/routine/tribes but also not super divided. I think part of it comes from us generally having bigger maternity leaves. The way America is set up is that maternity leaves are frequently unpaid, and for a really short period of time, which really makes clear, from the off, that children are an inconvenience - and that they have to be left behind for you to fulfil the other parts of you.
Makes so much sense!
I picked up a copy of My Brilliant Friend in a charity shop last year with a handwritten note in the front "To 'My Brilliant Friend' with unfailing thanks for being there for me during the dark and light. Love Neil" Sob! I also just got around to reading it and immediately bought the second.
My immediate response to that is - HOW could you give away a book with an inscription like that 🥹 (even if you hate the book!!)
I know! What did Neil do...
Also adored reading that Nick Cave response too! Sometimes our dreams can help cushion the blow of inevitable yet painful endings. Want to print it out and stick it somewhere so I can re-read it often.
I honestly want to print out so much of his website. I demand a Nick Cave book!!
Second that! Where can I sign a petition??
It’s not quite the same as his Red Hand Files newsletter, but I do recommend the recent release by Sean O’Hagan ‘Faith, Hope,Carnage’ which is an interview style book with Nick Cave ❣️
Oh thank you for that recc!
Would just like to say a MASSIVE thank you for the Soldier Sailor recommendation. I’ve spent the whole day buried in it. I’ve just finished it and I’m currently sat in a Pret in Nantes airport crying to myself at how beautiful it is. I’m not a mum (yet) but I’m one of 7 kids and it’s given me such an amazing appreciation for my Soldier / Mam. Thanks again for recommending!
This is a great list. I keep a long list of books I WANT to read on the notes app on my phone, but would really like to keep a physical record of what I’ve read because (a) I read (and re-read) a lot and then I forget; and (b) I think it would function like a mini journal.
Any tips from anyone who does this effectively and reliably (and also works full time and has small kids or other relentless time sucks) would be enormously appreciated
I think my first step is simply keeping the list of what I HAVE read on my Notes app. It’s ridiculous that someone with as poor a memory retention (hopefully temporary) as me does not do this
I used to write all the books I read down in a notebook (and loved looking back over them!), but somehow migrated to logging them on Goodreads. I find I don’t forget to add them as much now but it certainly doesn’t have the satisfaction of putting pen to paper in a notebook somehow!!
Thank you for sharing the Maybe Baby story! Its deffo a conundrum between friends when one has a new life(literally a baby) and the other continues as before. Nice to hear some proper thought behind the different arguments from both sides.
Yes! For something a little more flammable on the same subject... try the Allison P. Davies piece for The Cut
LOVED this! Welcome back... immediately hitting save so that I can return to this list repeatedly when I have time amidst breastfeeding/running around after toddlers/trying to write/stay sane ✨ thank you!
Thank you! ❤️
Loved this email! So many connects. Hiss and a roar for the start of the year. We're racing towards the end of the 3rd term in NZ. And Spring is feeling slow to properly grab hold (sort of like late February in London). So it's great to hear the new term energy. Have you read "Bunny" by Mona Awad? I really want to know what reading-ish people think. I can't quite decide. But it's playing on my mind and that is usually a good sign. (Armisted Maupin! Nick Cave's red right hand! If you need to bawl or are seeking to understand loss he is profound, and more generally profound and magically thoughtful. And I too have tried again with Elena Ferrente but it's not gel-ing.)
“Hiss and a roar for the start of term” = GREAT
A new subscriber. Really enjoy it. It is possible to use share tokens for some of the content behind the paywall (this may not be allowed and apologise if that’s the case) but it would be good to be able to read some without have loads of other subscriptions.
Welcome! So glad you are enjoying. Oooh I have never heard of share tokens! Are they a Substack thing? I do comp subscriptions to people who can’t afford. But I want to be a bit careful with free paywall access because the meat of the newsletter is already free (unlike most substacks I follows) and don’t want to disrespect my paying subs... as I really rely on them to keep this show on the road x
I recently read The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo and it was so tender and beautiful I’m still thinking about it! I’ve also been reading a lot of Taylor Jenkin’s Reid this year for the first time (After I do, One True Loves and Forever Interrupted) and something is to be said about reading something easy but great storytelling while also writing. Also adored the romcom Better Than The Movies 💓
Oh THANK you for these reccs! ❤️
I’m in the midst of ‘Hello Beautiful’ on your recommendation and have added a few more to my TBR pile x
Small correction but ‘The Reluctant Fundamentalist’ is about a Pakistani man, not a Palestinian x
Oh god of course, idiot - I need a sub editor!
Thank you for this! Def reading Green Dot. Also how was re-reading WH? I came back to Jane Eyre recently and was 100x more into it than in high school.
We did a book chat ep on the Wuthering heights re-read, I actually loved it this time round!! So unexpected