Season 4 of Doing It Right has landed!
And you can binge the boxset now
I am so excited to share a new season of Doing It Right, the podcast where I interview experts about the myths, trends and anxieties of contemporary life. I created the show in 2020 to promote my essay collection in lieu of a book tour -cheers Covid - and I usually drop a series annually, but I didn’t manage last year because I had a tiny baby. I think - hope! - the wait makes this year’s delivery all the sweeter.
Friends of mine say that Doing It Right is the most ‘me’ thing I do (best not to enquire as to whether that’s a compliment or a diss.) I won’t call it a ‘passion project’ because I think that term is gross and gendered (ever heard of a man with a ‘passion project’?) but I will say that it’s very close to my heart, because it’s a mix of high and low, light and shade, and it’s where I get to interview people about things that I’ve been thinking about, worrying about, or just want to learn more about and think that other people might like to, too.
Over the past three series, I’ve interviewed novelist Naoise Dolan on what we get wrong about autism, psychotherapist Julia Samuel on how change can be a kind of grief, and neuroscientist Russell Foster on what we get wrong about sleep (freeing fact: sleep is biphasic, it is normal to wake up once a night and not a sign of a ‘ruined’ night). I’ve listened to behavioural scientist Pragya Agarwal debunk the myth of gendered emotion, barrister Alexandra Wilson on what the law gets wrong, and the late campaigner Wendy Mitchell on what we need to better understand about dementia.
I’ve considered why we are in a loneliness epidemic with economist Noreena Hertz (my favourite part - which I still think about all the time - is when she explains how you can track the social shift to individualism through the use of ‘I’ instead of ‘we’ in pop songs), hosted journalist Gary Younge, debunking the many myths of knife crime (and why it isn’t comparable with gun violence in the States) and been fascinated by philosopher Amia Srinivasan, talking about the politics of sex.
And more! Much more.
Season 4 is smaller than usual - a capsule 5 eps - because I liked the idea of making something compact and dropping it as one like a little jewel. I’ve opted for a boxset because I am bad at weekly promotion and as I funded this series myself, rather than seeking a sponsor like usual, I don’t have to eke the episodes out for their benefit! (As a consumer, I bloody love a boxset.) It’s a spicy mix, I’ve given a little bit of info about each of the episodes below. I so hope you enjoy it!
The myth of the sociopath, with Patric Gagne
What does the term ‘sociopath’ mean to you? Serial killer? Social outcast? Or wait - is that a psychopath?
Patric first told her story in a column for the cult Modern Love series, titled ‘He Married a Sociopath: Me’. After the piece received an enormous response, Patric wrote a memoir, Sociopath, about a life spent searching for answers: Why didn’t she feel guilt or shame like other people? Why did she have this overwhelming feeling of apathy? And how could she escape the strange pressure she felt, without resorting to violence?
In this episode, Patric, a qualified psychotherapist, debunks the myths around sociopathy - namely, that it’s rare - sharing some of the cons, but also the pros. Above all, she wants us to understand that sociopathy is part of the neurodivergent spectrum, not just a caricature or personality type.
[NB: ‘sociopath’ is not a recognised psychiatric term in the UK - it comes under ‘antisocial personality disorder’. But Patric thinks the two are different and so I defer to her experience/ language.]
We need to talk about postpartum psychosis, with Catherine Cho
So many women experience a postpartum mental disorder after having a baby. For me, it was postnatal depression. For Catherine Cho, it was postpartum psychosis.
You might not have thought about postpartum psychosis before. Certainly, I had no idea before I read Catherine’s memoir, Inferno (you can read an extract, here) that 1-2 in every 1000 women will be affected by it. So why isn’t it being talked about more? Or even, at all?
In this episode, Catherine explains how she came to be sectioned on a psychiatric ward, how it impacted her relationship with her baby son and the rest of her family, the depression which followed her psychosis, and how she navigated second time motherhood.
I know this episode might feel scary to some of you. But I believe that forewarned is forearmed. That knowing about these things can better protect us and those around us. And that politically, we should be talking more about matrescence - thought to be as big a cognitive change as puberty! - and how to improve maternal mental health.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please call your GP or the NHS helpline, on 111. If it is an emergency, please call 999. For more information, visit app-network.org.
Why you might be languishing, with Corey Keyes
Feeling demotivated? Aimless? Without meaning, or purpose? According to sociologist and psychologist Corey Keyes, you might be languishing.
In this episode, I talk to the renowned pioneer of mental wellbeing about his theories of languishing and flourishing, which became widely known thanks to a 2021 piece by Adam Grant and is now the subject of his thought-provoking new book. Corey explains why so many of us are languishing, how it’s different to burnout and depression, and the habits (such as ‘passive entertainment’) which can keep you stuck in the rut.
Corey also explores his opposing theory of flourishing, which is not just about “feeling good” but “functioning well’, how learning to flourish saved his life and how you can learn it, too.
Decolonising beauty, with Afua Hirsch
I’m really interested in the gnarly parts of the beauty industry - where things like tanning and hair removal come from and the contexts and connotations we’d all - let’s be honest - rather ignore. In the last series, the ‘anti-beauty’ beauty journalist Jessica DeFino debunked the many myths of skincare and make-up. This season, I talk to journalist, author and broadcaster Afua Hirsch about beauty’s colonialist ideals and how, as detailed in her memoir/manifesto she sought to break up with them.
Afua talks about reconnecting with her ancestral heritage through beauty rituals, why rest is resistance, how tattooing can be a sacred act, why puberty should be celebrated, and how globalisation and the borderless world has left us yearning for community.
As you’ll glean from our sprawling conversation, ‘beauty’ - and by that I mean the social, political and cultural ideals around women’s bodies - is really a portal to discuss the way we live and seek value in ourselves and one another. I found this conversation so galvanizing - my ambition is now to be “spiritually ripped”.
How tech flattened personal taste, with Kyle Chayka
The homogenisation of popular culture is something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. In the book I mentioned above, I wrote an essay called Get The Look - inspired by that Zara polkadot dress - about how internet culture is encouraging young women to dress as facsimiles of one other.
So I was really excited to talk to Kyle Chayka, a staff writer at The New Yorker and the author of Filterworld, about how technology - specifically, ‘the algorithm’ - has come to shape what we watch, listen to, eat, dress and even how we travel.
In this episode, we discuss the paradox of choice, decision fatigue and seeking sameness, surveillance capitalism, dumb phones (does anyone have one of these?? I am tempted) and how to break free of ‘the algo’ in order to re-learn what you actually like.
BITS
Laughed when I read this bit of an interview with Cathy Newman, by David Aaronovitch. It me! One day (possibly) I will learn that stolen time does not exist.
“Oh, God, I'm always late”, she says. “I mean, I was late today, but not very late. I'm always 10 minutes late. Always. That's like standard.” “Why?” “Because I think what you could do in that extra 10 minutes. The thing is, it’s an illusion, isn't it because obviously if I was on time, then I'd be 10 minutes earlier at the end? So it's ridiculous.”
Super Cute Please Like by Nicole Lipman for n+1 is a very good/ anxiety-making piece on the effluvia of Chinese superfast-fashion behemoth Shein. 11 years after Rana Plaza and clothes - specifically a Solid Sweetheart Neck Crop Tube Top - are still being sold for $1.90.
“If I search the word trending, there are 4,800 items to scroll through, labeled with trends I’ve never heard of even after a decade-plus of closely following fashion blogs and Instagram accounts: Bikercore, Dopamine Dressing, RomComCore, Bloke Core. Each phrase alone generates hundreds or thousands of search results of garments ready to purchase and ship.”
There was a bit that stuck in my craw, though, where a professor of public policy who claims that “kids” (who he calls the Shein shopper) don’t give a fuck about the planet. I don’t think it aligns so neatly with age. My teenage nieces, for example, are much more conscious shoppers than some of my late 30s friends. If only things were that simple, we could ‘solve’ the ff crisis much more easily. Thoughts?
Brain jangled in an entirely different way by this interview with Orlando Whitfield by Charlotte Edwardes for The Guardian about Whitfield’s relationship with the incarcerated scammer Inigo Philbrick, a former protege of Jay Jopling, now known as “the art world’s Bernie Madoff”, with has a debt of $68 million. I didn’t understand art valuation before I read this piece and I definitely don’t understand it now I’ve read it. (Also interesting: this interview with Philbrick in Vanity Fair, delivered via e-mail.)
More brain jangling - was the week for it - via Baby Reindeer, made by the comedian Richard Gadd, adapted from his hit play of the same name. I probably don’t need to summarise since it became a No.1 global hit on Netflix but if you haven’t yet watched it, I recommend it. It’s such a complex, thorough exploration of abuse, trauma and vulnerability. NB: ep 4 is very intense and includes sexual assault. It’s necessary, and a part of Gadd’s story, but it’s not at all easy to watch.
A bit meta to share this in a recs section, but Is Recommendation Culture Making Us Act Nutso? by Total Rec (whose author(s) rather deliciously remain nameless) is bang-on. Clearly, I believe in recs culture to an extent (popular culture is relentless and I think curating the chaff can be clarifying and calming for the consumer) but I also agree that it encourages us to over-think decisions that are not worthy of that much thought (does your loo roll need to tell a story about your life or just wipe your arse?) and thus expect that because we sought to buy the best recommended thing, that the thing we do choose will be perfect.
Here’s a bit on travel tips - which I reckon everyone reading this has either participated in and/or witnessed:
“In this culture, the worth of an experience is often gauged by how shareable it is and the amount of online approval it receives from others. It reminds me of when I went to Bali and I headed to the “best waterfall”. When I got there, I saw a bunch of people lined up just to take a picture. Nobody was really soaking in the experience because they were all about getting their solo 'main character' shot and then zipping off to their cars to hit up the next waterfall on their list.”
Two coffee table books to flag: Not Your Forever Home by Katherine Ormerod, publishing thus Thursday and offering affordable decor and DIY hacks for renters and The Book of Nuggets, a lovely book compiled by Juliet Solomon which I was honoured to contribute to, with all proceeds going to Kidney Research UK.
I went ham on fridge bins at The Container Store and the results are so pleasing I keep paying visits to the fridge just to ogle them. Last night I was on the verge of sleep, when I dashed down to the kitchen just to visit my overpriced little friends. Given that I once wrote a piece for Vogue about my love of containers, it’s perhaps unsurprising.
I don’t write much about parenting, but 95% of my life right now centres on logistics and phonics. On the former, I am as addled as the next person, but on the latter, I rec reading roots.uk (also on TikTok) by a teacher and phonics expert. It’s such a friendly, encouraging resource.
Ending on a very good 2010 piece by James Surowiecki for The New Yorker, which I came across whilst googling one of the many random things I google of a day, on procrastination and the division of selves. Particularly interested in Jon Elster’s ‘planning fallacy’ which might in part explain mine and Newman’s lateness…
“Elster thinks that people underestimate the time “it will take them to complete a given task, partly because they fail to take account of how long it has taken them to complete similar projects in the past and partly because they rely on smooth scenarios in which accidents or unforeseen problems never occur.”
A genuinely fascinating podcast series - thank you! As a designer by profession, your conversation with Kyle Chayka in particular hit a nerve. I've really noticed a decline in "creativity" in recent years and can only inculpate a circular economy of internet sources as it were! (Read Soho House, the shoppy shop....) I may even write a substack post on this ;)
So excited that this podcast series is back, just listened to the first episode and it’s brilliant. Such interesting guest speakers and I love your interviewing style.